9 Types of Layoff Calls That Only Former BuzzFeed Employees Would Understand

9 Types of Layoff Calls That Only Former BuzzFeed Employees Would Understand

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9) The Text Message

Breaking up with your partners via Text Message has been a trend for a while now. Bosses can be so cruel but when your boss is also a millennial, you should should not be shocked to see a conversation like this in your inbox while eating your morning avocado toast.

8) When your ID Badge Stops Working

You wake up after a long night of adding BuzzFeed Stickers to your badge only to find out that it no longer allows you to access your office. It sure sucks but on the bright side, you will have the cutest badge of all of the other former BuzzFeed Writers in the Unemployment Line.

7) When they give up your normal seat at the coffee bar

You have been visiting the same coffee bar every morning since you started at BuzzFeed to have your team meeting and suddenly find out that the establishment gave your seat away.

6) When Starbucks writes “unemployed” on your “Grande, Iced, Sugar-Free, Vanilla Latte With Soy Milk”

After arguing with the patrons who took your normal seat, you order your favorite “Grande, Iced, Sugar-Free, Vanilla Latte With Soy Milk” only to find out that the barista misspelt your name and wrote “Unemployed” on the cup.

5) Being un-followed by your boss on Twitter

While sipping your coffee, you take some time to review your Twitter Feed and respond to trolls who say that your content is “utter crap” when you notice that your follower count dropped. Upon further investigation, you find out that your boss unfollowed you.

4) The Phone Call

You are sitting at your desk and suddenly your phone rings. You pause your Vaporwave Music and pick up the phone to begin lecturing the person who called you on more modern ways off communication like WhatsApp, Text Messaging or smoke signals only to find out that you need to report to HR Immediately. You wonder if it is in regards to the raise you asked for a few months ago.

3) Finding out on Huffington Post

You sit down to read current events from websites slightly more reputable than BuzzFeed – mainly looking for content to steel only to find out that BuzzFeed is in the middle of mass layoffs. You begin to wonder if the fact that your badge stopped working earlier in the day is a sign.

2) When Your YouTube Feed Suddenly Fills with “Why I Left BuzzFeed” Videos

After years of working at BuzzFeed – also known as the cesspool of the internet – you are no strange to people mocking you calling yourself a “journalist”, you suddenly notice a surge in “Why I Left Buzzfeed” videos on YouTube.

1) The Silent but Deadly/Getting Ghosted

You have clearly had a eventful and horrible day. After finding that your ID Badge was not working and you can’t reach your boss to let you in, you visit a costume store to dress up as a secret agent to sneak past security and make it to your desk. This should not be needed as you spent 15 minutes trying to convince them that you work there but they also keep referring to you as “unemployed” – they must be related to that idiot barista.

When you finally get to your desk, you notice that all of the lights are off and your co-workers are missing. They must be hiding to surprise you as they know your birthday is coming up in a few weeks.


Ronald Dump

Ronald Dump has made TREMENDOUS contributions to USNews.Today since joining us in January of 2016. He is GREAT especially since Mexico is paying his salary.

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